Have a Emotional Disorder or something!!?

I need help! I have grown up with emotional abuse my hole life. I'm really scared I might have an mental disorder or something. I get pissed off SOOO fast and I want to through something as far as i can and hurt something I NEVER NEVER have but it scares me that I even think it. I feel more then useless and ugly and I nearly burst into tears all the time. when i'm mad I want to kick and punch something so i thought i might take a kickboxing cl or something for that. I feel more alone than I ever thought I could. I randomly want to smash my head into something and It scares me more than anything. What could this be!!?